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applycation essay Misfortunes and Me

俗话说万事皆有阴阳两面,本文主人公经历是充满不幸的,但是从反面来说,也表现了她坚强的的特点!我们在写applycation essay的时候,注意要分析自己的具体案例,也许你很快就能找到自己essay的切入点。

Misfortunes and Me

不幸和我

点评:以common表格第六个essay题目为题撰写好的essay,最好能够加上一个简短精练、起画龙点睛作用的标题。


Last semester, I made an oral presentation in the Chinese class.All the classmates clapped their hands heavily after I finished. “How do youknow so much about Peking Opera?” A classmate asked me surprisingly. Hearingthis, my heart began to hurt. For me, Peking Opera was a precious memory, but Ireally did not want to touch on the subject with ease.


点评:essay开头很巧妙地将第一个misfortune引出来:作者语文课上做了一个出色的口头陈述,受到同学们的热烈欢迎。而一名同学不经意的一问“你怎么知道这么多京剧知识”,碰到了作者的痛处——京剧是珍贵的记忆,但作者不愿轻易碰触。文章最后一句留下了一丝悬念——为什么作者不愿轻易碰触?而这正是作者设下的诱饵,吸引读者一探究竟接着读下去。


When I was about five years old, I was fascinated by Peking Operaand I dreamed to become an Opera actress in the future. Then I started learningit in a training class. The class started at six p.m., so I had to go thereimmediately after I finished my school every afternoon, no matter it was rainyor windy. I practiced three hours there, then went home and had dinner at abouthalf past nine. I felt exhausted after every training class, but my skills insinging and performance improved quickly and firmly. I was once chosen toperform for foreign guests three years later after I learned it. I thought mydream was drawing closer and closer. However, on a day when I was ten, I wassent to hospital and diagnosed with nephritis. The doctor suggested I have agood rest and terminate my Opera training because it would make my body worse.I felt very sad about that, after all, I had been training for it for fiveyears. However, I had to give it up.


点评:这一段essay具体讲述了作者凭着最初对京剧的痴迷,五年间利用业余时间刻苦训练,训练三年后被选出来为外宾表演,这些都展示出作者对京剧的热爱以及刻苦训练取得不错的成就。就在作者对未来当京剧演员的梦想充满期待并为之奋斗之时,作者入院被查出患上肾炎,医生的忠告让作者京剧演员梦成为泡影。


Several months later, I recovered from the disease. To exercisemyself, I began to swim. In fact, myteacher once told me I was not suitable to be a swimmer. But I still practicedvery hard every day. Two years later, I obtained two national certificates.However, misfortunate came to me again: I got dermatitis and was prohibited totouch water. Sadness spread over me, but just for one or two days this time. Ifigured out another sport that I could play–badminton. I joined a badminton team in a sports school. So, I wentthere practicing for two hours every afternoon. I did not miss any class. Oneyear later, I took part in a badminton competition in our district and won thethird prize in the teenager group. After I entered my senior high school, I hadto terminate the training because the sports school is too far away. But laterI always play badminton with my friends when I am free.


点评:经过数月治疗,作者肾炎痊愈。为锻炼身体,作者开始学习游泳。虽然老师认为作者先天条件存在不足,但作者依然刻苦训练,两年后获得两种泳姿的国家认证证书。然而,厄运再次光临——作者患皮肤病,医生建议不宜接触水。但悲伤仅笼罩作者一、两天,作者就确定了下一个奋斗目标——打羽毛球。一年紧张训练之后,作者就在区里的羽毛球比赛少年组里获得三等奖。进入高中之后,由于离体校较远,作者不得不放弃羽毛球训练。严格意义讲,这第三次放弃自己的爱好称不上是misfortune所为,但也确实属不得已而为之的无奈之举。但也并非完全放弃,闲暇时,作者经常与朋友打羽毛球。


Sometimes I think I am not a lucky person, because misfortunealways visits me. I had to give up my Peking Opera dream first, and then myswimmer dream. However, I also feel great when I realize that I used to be awonderful Opera actress, a swimmer with two national certificates and a goodbadminton player. Furthermore, I find I can do everything well as long as I amdetermined to do it. And I am quite sure I will succeed a lot in the future.


点评:前面讲述的三个作者为之不懈努力奋斗的目标,最终都不得不忍痛割舍,这自然而然让作者联想是命运捉弄为难自己——有时候认为自己不幸运,因为厄运时常降临自己身上,先后不得不放弃京剧梦、游泳梦。但作者也充分认识到她的优秀——曾是一名优秀的京剧演员,一名拥有两张国家证书的游泳运动员,一名优秀的羽毛球选手,都与这些厄运密切相连。作者更加认识到自己性格的一个特点——只要下决心去做,任何事都会做得出色。而这也让作者确信自己未来会不断成功。至此,一个不畏厄运挑战、努力前行追求卓越、对前途充满信心的学生形象跃然纸上。


读过这篇essay后,相信同学们一定会对这名同学深感敬佩,美国大学招生官看到此文也会有同感。每年大学申请季节,紧张忙碌的不仅仅是那些申请学生,美国大学招生官们同样也是非常辛苦地阅读学生的申请材料。在阅读申请材料过程中,招生官们普遍认为最享受的是阅读学生撰写的申请essay。这些招生官认为,阅读学生写出来的essay是在与学生进行无声的对话,从中感受学生是怎样的一个人,借此考察学生的个性、才能、成长经历,从中寻找学生的亮点,探究其成长的轨迹,进而判断学生未来的发展潜力。因而,对申请学生来讲,撰写申请essay,实际上是美国大学提供给申请学生的一个机会,一个向录取官员展示鲜活自我、强调突出个人亮点的机会。如果一篇申请essay中没有展示出申请学生的某个或某些亮点,那么这篇申请essay就没有任何实际意义。期望同学们一定要认真把握这个能够给录取官员留下深刻印象的机会,在撰写申请essay时,要极力通过事例突出个人的优秀经历、才能、个性,多角度展现自身亮点。上面那篇essay不仅展示了那名学生拥有深厚的京剧方面的知识和才艺、优秀的游泳和羽毛球才能,而且通过她的这些经历展示她是一个勇敢乐观面对挫折,持续刻苦努力追求卓越的一名学生。这些个性预示她将来能够取得更多更大的成功,而这正是美国名校招生官希望在学生身上看到的。


通过这篇范文,我们可以看出,用优良个性作为主线,将个人经历中的亮点串起来,不失为一个很不错的essay写作思路。希望同学们将来准备common表格上的长essay时可借鉴使用这一写作思路,撰写出自己的优秀申请essay。